Starting out with a little of the personal...

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Thursday, January 15, 2009, 1:19 PM.
And, again…
This time is the time. Once more. The past and the future their nothing to me now. I see that now. So I will proceed with the overall efforts to get to a much more creative, peaceful, and natural way to approach life at this place that I am now at. A lot has happened in recent months. Big stuff. Things like:
· Losing Zowie. She was a good old cat. Not much more that can or need be said. She was the best of many a fine cat I’ve had the privilege of knowing in my lifetime of never having a dog because they’re two much trouble and responsibility. (till quite recently, actually- but more on that in a later bulleted Crot)
· Continuing the process of watching my father slowly die of “this damn choking problem.” This was much tougher and more grueling than I realized as it continued over the years ever since he fell backwards down the basement stairs and then just eight months after that happened mom died in the pool at the Brooklyn Rec Center. But what are you gonna do?
· And then of course, he finally really did die like he often said he wanted to. I knew, Sue knew, we all new it would come sooner or later. Still it was strange to have him finally go. I think about him a lot- thinking I better call or stop over with eerie frequency. To be expected.
· Then there was the definitive health scare that happened with the day at the emergency room and the ongoing feeling not quite right enough. The anxiety, the paranoia, the fear, the frustration… I handle them all and minimize them all fairly well most of the time. Still…
· Getting Married and getting health care coverage. Related to the above yet a fine positive how do you do.
· And now Stony is here. And that’s a good thing.
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I fully intended to totally kick out the jams with my “work”, and, like, my music over the winter break from school/work and now I will try and do so as I get the work at Dad’s and my house finally organized enough to get back to some kind of normalcy. I miss the possibility that believing “my work” might actually amount to something and, you know, allow me to finally “get a little something for myself”.
In any case, it is close to when I will be starting at it again in earnest. I don’t want to or need to talk or write much about it. I just need to get immersed in all of it and proceed as the way opens.
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