that convinced me to go ahead and let "The Nation" email some of my closest personal friends in order that I be entered to win an all expenses paid trip to NYC and get to spend a day at the Nation. I wonder if that includes any walkin' around money?
And now folks, from wordy yours truly:
Hey Soolay Brew, eh???
6/30/2008 2:56 PM, a manic Monday…
Or really more a depressive one. Manic will come in due course.
So here’s what I got, lately the ramblings gleaned a bit, for your reading pleasure and enjoyment…
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…So I, Along With John McCain, Ain’t No Kind No Way No How Any Real Maverick In Any Genuine Sense of the Word…
From the AC Jrn. Of Sa21Jun08…
From the guest suite at Eddie Kayes’s trans shop.
That being said of course I think I still could be. So I have another week with Chris in our Coney Island of our phantasy minds and during that week I will try my best to handle the situations that do indeed come up better. That includes trying to do more of this prep writing and editing and computing and pre blogging and pre organizing work as best I can.
Then, soon enough it will be back to Cleve-A-Burg and there I will have a small short window to start really making something happen. And that’s pretty much when I will have to really prioritize making a couple of weeks conducive to me finally getting things moving in a positive direction. I know the drill and I know how easy it is to squander time when you think you have plenty of it and how easy a short little window like this can be sidetracked and gone by all kinds of minutia and other life demands. I will have to be self concerned enough to make sure neither happens the rest of this summer. Hit the ground running boy- just hit the ground running.
And whatever ancillary regimens (IE running, eating right, drinking less or not at all for awhile, cycling, nature and hiking and canoeing, losing weight, taking up golf, etc. etc. throwing parties, having Mary and the kids in or whatever) I need to be into the main thing for me to regain my serenity and balance to the extent I have ever had those in my corner the big thing is for me to make this “work” happen on all the many levels and manifestations I possibly can.
It is and will have been a long time coming, Brew. Know what I am saying?
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In AC around 6:30PM on W25June08.
FOCK FOCK FOCK ME.
Overlooking the Beach and the Boardwalk from the hollow pool deck of the AC Hilton. Expansive viewing toward Ventnor and the South Down Beach Shore.
I have got to, quite simply, slow it down and focus and connect. The challenge of my life. But I have maybe 3-5 or 4-6 weeks to do it right here right now and if I do the rewards could be- just might be- substantial.
And the writin’ comes first. For the most part.
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Thinking about Jimmy in his casket at his wake. And earlier about Bobby- and how psychically and spiritually Bobby and Mary are more alike than most folks in the family would think on the surface.
And what about an intentional community now. Maybe the future is a commune as the way to the new agrarian localism- which is what things are going to have to be about…
But what about the “new convergences” that are supposably (sic) going to give us all the future techno-gizmo solutions to our current apparently unsolve-able dilemmas.
I see the hope of the Internet and Blogging around the need for a new Radical Progressive political groundswell as being something that succeeds to the extent that it can be one such convergence of the communications and organizational potential of the Internet and other relatively new “Digital Age” technologies along with those technologie’s potential to help educate, mobilize, and ultimately employ large numbers of activists who engage all the “necessary work” that would be required if “meaningful change” ever were to genuinely achieved, or enacted, or realized.
And of course, the Progressive Groundswell that is needed is simply a new and inevitable reawakening in the human condition of the ongoing yearning for freedom, Democracy, civil society, justice and fairness, etc. etc..
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I really want to do nothing but nurture the possibility of me unleashing- or really more just simply releasing, setting free, my somewhat repressed all twisted up in the game creative consciousness.
But alas and alack- what has repressed said Creative Consciousness?
Pure life. Going with the flow but letting the flow sometimes sidetrack me too much from the essence of my true nature. Being. Breathing and not breathing. And because of that tendency I sometimes think I am too other directed- maybe not in terms of what kind of person I am but in terms of what I am able to accomplish in the “real world.”
It really is such a fine line- ain’t it Doc?
The art of living can get in the way of creating art that makes one feel that one has produced something that validates their being and existence- or- in the course of geologic time… having ever actually been alive. We’re talking the quest for immortality here folks.
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Back to Bobby: he is at times a friend so succinctly, I think anyway, that I could see him being someone that I could see being comfortable with as I was preparing to go to the other side. You know, where Jimmy is and my Mom is. The wrong side of the dirt.
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MONEY BOUND. Write that complementary song to John Gorka’s great one. I think his greatest one. Though it’s like a great unfinished work of art. It complains of the pain but offers no way to gain in the brain what’s needed to transcend what’s yet to be transcended… (Aside to reader: the wine be kicking in there on the Hollow Deck right about now.) From, or with apologies to the Doobie’s “What a Fool Believes”.
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I have just met, or found really, a tree I love. Right here on the Hollow Deck. It reminds me of what:
· A Bristlecone pine;
· A Monterey Pine;
· A Torrey Pine???
Each of them great trees. What is this one. I want to know (everybody wants to know) even though I don’t care about all that Botanical shit. Sorry Tim.
Tree, just shimmer in the wind and sun and that’s all I need: that’s good enough for me. Names and knowing all of them ain’t what makes it happen for me.
But writer, all that’s well and good but still, describe it for us…
It lists slightly over the Hollow Deck. One major branch, at least. And it angles and splays downbeach- from the wind it looks and feels like. And it’s all branches toward the sea side and more sparse facing land. Except at its crown.
I want to come down and photograph this tree in the morning. Let’s see If I do. (Another aside to reader: Nope, no photos of tree, Mon.)
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What is the consciousness of a gull? Jah lowly gull. Or sometimes so they seem. Scuffling for a crust of pizza down by the Steel Pier. But I just watched one negotiate the wind way up in a thermal. And he or she cruised, soared toward the shore break without so much as moving a muscle. Or so it seemed. What did his consciousness or brain or spirit think, feel, or intuit way up air. I wonder.
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Now some edited cullings from previous efforts to get the mind working prior to the AC trip as the school year was winding down…
Late April from sub jobs mostly:
I have dreams of not only the lions but of a big Western sojourn where I can visit and mooch off some old friends and also reconnect with perhaps both my cowboyin’ and countercultural roots.
In any case I would hope to get together with you my Soolay Brother for some portion of that part or what I’m billing as the “I’m Not Quite Ready to Get All the Way Old” tour. I tell you, I wish I could make myself stay on task enough to succeed finally at something more fun and creative. It’s getting to the point where I don’t really know that I have much faith that I will ever really change much or ultimately make all that much happen or ever really have much to with any “going out there and getting this whole thing started” sort of deallybop.
But lately I been thinking too much lately…
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